another stupid thing from 6th grade...made me almost pee my pants:
Adam and Eve’s Sci-Fi Adventure
God became lonely, so he made some guy friends out of clay (2 to be exact). They played all night but after a while the 2 humans, Adrian and Adam got lonely for a gal friend. So God made them a girl. God named her Edith.
After a few months Adam got jealous because Edith came to love only Adrian. Adam and Adrian had a ginormous fight that shook the Earth, dude, Adam became the first murderer. Edith cried for many a days but when God finally forgave Adam he stopped her tears from flowing.
When Edith finally came into the sun from the long time she spent hiding from Adam, he saw a hideous secret. Do you know what had come into view from Edith’s tears? Edith’s cover was blown, the Earth now saw that Edith was the first Alien! She looks even more beautiful as an alien, Adam thought. So he changed her name to Eve meaning pretty lady in the Olde tongue.
3 Years Later
God comes back from his long vacation in the other paradise to see that Eden was littered with…children!
God realizes what Adam has done to poor Eve and opens a portal towards the negative zone into which he flings Adam. Then God makes a second and nicer Adam with whom Eve finishes the story that you may or may not know and afterwards meets her true love in heaven. What a happy couple! Adrian and Eve, Eve and Adrian (cough). Sorry, on with the story.
Epilogue
Bet y’all are wondering how there live over 4 billion people in the world when Earth starts out with only a few children. Well my friends the “cave-men” that you know them as, did not scratch drawings onto cave walls. They were mechanical geniuses, smarter than those today. So it can be very simple to duplicate children and change their features. And there you have it the true story of Adam and Eve. Oh yes, I forgot you are probably also wondering how an alien can have human children and why God did not know right away what was happening in Eden. Well those stories are for another day.
-The End
God became lonely, so he made some guy friends out of clay (2 to be exact). They played all night but after a while the 2 humans, Adrian and Adam got lonely for a gal friend. So God made them a girl. God named her Edith.
After a few months Adam got jealous because Edith came to love only Adrian. Adam and Adrian had a ginormous fight that shook the Earth, dude, Adam became the first murderer. Edith cried for many a days but when God finally forgave Adam he stopped her tears from flowing.
When Edith finally came into the sun from the long time she spent hiding from Adam, he saw a hideous secret. Do you know what had come into view from Edith’s tears? Edith’s cover was blown, the Earth now saw that Edith was the first Alien! She looks even more beautiful as an alien, Adam thought. So he changed her name to Eve meaning pretty lady in the Olde tongue.
3 Years Later
God comes back from his long vacation in the other paradise to see that Eden was littered with…children!
God realizes what Adam has done to poor Eve and opens a portal towards the negative zone into which he flings Adam. Then God makes a second and nicer Adam with whom Eve finishes the story that you may or may not know and afterwards meets her true love in heaven. What a happy couple! Adrian and Eve, Eve and Adrian (cough). Sorry, on with the story.
Epilogue
Bet y’all are wondering how there live over 4 billion people in the world when Earth starts out with only a few children. Well my friends the “cave-men” that you know them as, did not scratch drawings onto cave walls. They were mechanical geniuses, smarter than those today. So it can be very simple to duplicate children and change their features. And there you have it the true story of Adam and Eve. Oh yes, I forgot you are probably also wondering how an alien can have human children and why God did not know right away what was happening in Eden. Well those stories are for another day.
-The End
hahahahhaa!!!!!!! Cardiovascular surgeon.
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